Have you ever watched a presentation? I bet you have been to the cinema, a play, a recital, something of that nature. Well, we watch presentations and after that we normally rate them. ‘It was a good movie.’ ‘It was not worth my money.’ ‘What a waste of time.’ ‘What were they thinking!’ ‘I would have preferred a less predictable story line.’ All these post production conclusions and views.
Have you ever thought that your company is just that way? As a friend, a sister, a wife/husband, a work colleague, your company is that presentation someone views and feels some type of way about.
If you haven’t slept, your presentation may be moody. If you have a lot going on, to those around you, you will appear scattered, distant and distracted. We are constantly a presentation. Interestingly we don’t usually think about it or even see ourselves that way. We want to meet up, but we don’t think about what we are bringing to the table. Often, what we do see is the results of the presentation. A fall out, people avoiding you, people wanting to hang around you more, people criticising you or complementing you , people worried about you, people meeting you for 30 minutes, or wanting to spend the day with you, etc. Its all a post production result!
Recently someone said to me, ‘ You are speaking quietly’, upon reflection, that day I was actually concerned about something and I had not taken time to deal with so I was in my own thoughts most of the time. Later in the same week someone said to me, ‘You seem to be in a mood, are you okay?’ That was because I felt a good friend was taking me for granted, and I had not really resolved how to deal with this and it all reflected in the time I spent around others. Sometimes we don’t realise our outside and inside are a reflection of each other, and that we need to take time to gather ourselves so that we can present ourselves better.
There was a week I exercised pretty much every day and the only day I had to rest, coffee meet-ups were scheduled. I remember being low on energy and pretty much anxious to get home. Can you imagine what that time spent with my friend was like?! Yawning, stretching, poor posture, scattered conversation, etc. At the same token, I once met up with a friend and I remember thinking, ‘Gosh, that was hard work!’ The background was loud and disrupted, the conversation was all over the place, and guess what , the friend was actually unwell! And I knew she was under the weather, so she got a pass for that , because I didn’t expect anything different from someone unwell. But what about when we don’t have it together in the not so obvious ways! Emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, physically, etc.
If I were mentally tired and sweaty from a hard day’s work why would I continue onto a work night out?! I should really take time to consider my tired mind frame and armpits! Instead of becoming referred to as the person who smells funky and seems sharp on a night out.
The point of this blog post, is not to encourage you to go on a self reflecting retreat, the point of this post is to ask you, ‘Who would you like to be around others?’, ‘Who do you enjoy spending time with?’,’Why is that the case?’ ‘Who do you avoid spending time with?’, ‘Why is that the case?
Lately, I wound rather say ‘I won’t be meeting you’ than getting there and being scattered. It’s not just about being around people, it’s about what we bring to the table and the quality of what we bring to the table. Can I be a good presentation of myself to others at that particular point in time?
What will it take? Do I need to self prioritise or take care of myself first. Does my presence enrich and inspire or drain and tire.
Am not saying be in the best physical or mental shape you can be in or have no worries or concerns before you head out to a cup of coffee with a friend, but for the time you intend to spend around others be the best version of you. Look good, smell good, and don’t be on your phone calling and texting. Smile, engage, be warm, be encouraging, listen and contribute. Don’t judge or impose but be confident about your views! Look happy to have agreed to come for a chat. Make people feel like there’s nowhere else you have to be and nothing else you have to do. Have a ‘spark’ about you.
Go the extra mile on your self presentation by taking time to think about it and then carrying it through.
‘Be a joy to be around when your about’ ~ Coco